BDSM – No Torture or Pain

0716 blog photoWelcome to the July 2016 blog!

I know BDSM (BD = bondage & discipline, DS = dominance & submission, SM = sadism & masochism) is still a major trend in romance novels, but it’s not for me.

BDSM has always been around for a secret few, mostly out of view. The Fifty Shades of Grey books by E.L. James made their first appearance in 2011 and changed all that. The trilogy brought that dark world into the mainstream. It obviously hit a nerve with readers and became a franchise.

The books were initially popular with married women over the age of thirty with whom it tied into their secret fantasies, so was dubbed “Mommy Porn” by some. The books eventually also became popular among teenage girls and college women and others.

It is very apparent the BDSM phenomenon fulfilled female fantasies. There is no doubt that this kind of book has been a phenomenon and has proliferated. BDSM has become a very popular romance sub-genre.

It should also be noted here that part of the rise in the popularity of female erotica is attributed to the success and discreet nature of e-reading devices.

The Grey books, similar to the Harry Potter series of books, also successfully inspired new readers and renewed interest in reading, although in the adult romance genre. It created a plethora of imitators and new niche for books that have predominated the romance market ever since. Authors like Sylvia Day and many others have notably benefited.

However, many of these books are presented as a romance with the theme that BDSM is normal and pleasurable, but instead romanticize dangerous behavior and glorify abuse.

I’m pretty confident very few people actually go to such extremes in reality. But after all is said and done, if these books enhance women’s real-life sex lives and intimacy, they will continue to be popular.

Here are the key definitions:

bondage – slavery, involuntary servitude, being bound or physically restrained by or subjected to some external power or control

discipline – punishment inflicted by way of correction and training, behavior and order maintained by training and control

dominance – rule; control; authority; asserting physical or psychological control

submission – inclined or ready to yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient, submissive conduct or attitude

sadism – the condition in which sexual gratification depends on causing pain or degradation to others; any enjoyment in being cruel; extreme cruelty;

masochism – the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering physical pain or humiliation; gratification from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc.

Does that sound like fun to you? Personally, I don’t think so.

I suppose there is some titillation value in nude, or almost nude, people doing almost anything. But anything involving intimidation or bullying, or that is about abuse, torture, or pain, doesn’t interest me.

I’m no philosopher, but I think there is way too much inhumanity toward our fellow man already. I don’t need to add any hint of that brand of mistreatment in my books.

I might include a sex toy or other paraphernalia in my stories. I may refer to dildos, or vibrators, nipple rings, or other sex toys. Or I may include being tied up or in handcuffs. I use whatever seems to fit with my characters. You never know what will feel right when you write, but I’m not going to inflict real pain or torture my characters.

I’ve already mentioned in one of my manuscripts that one character is a secret dominatrix. I’ve even considered the possibility of writing a sequel with more details about that character. We’ll see. They say, Never say never.

But I’m generally opting out of what I consider the hard-core stuff. I’ll leave the BDSM sub-genre to the experts to write. I may just dabble in it occasionally.

What’s With the Writing?

I was gone to Florida for a week of vacation with family at the beginning of the June. In the middle of the month I traveled for a family wedding. I also took great pleasure in focusing on reading for a change, and did practically no writing other than this blog and the July short story this month.

I plan to get back to writing, Mr. Right Seeks Miss Wrong, in July.

However, the big news is I did receive the second manuscript, of Bonfire, back from the editor. In fact, if I hadn’t posted my blog early last month, it would have been here before the end of May. Misty really knows her stuff, and did a thorough and masterful job of editing. Help like this is invaluable for me to understand where my weaknesses are.

Again, I have made the simple line-by-line changes she recommended to the text already, but the more complex suggestions requiring major revisions will be much more time consuming. I’m not ready to tackle that gigantic project now. Truthfully, I’m not sure I will ever be ready. It won’t be fun to do.

Business

NO DRAWING. There wasn’t enough new subscribers to have a drawing for a free book giveaway this month.

SHORT STORY

The new July short story, Polyamory, is available to be read by subscribers now. It’s an over 12,000 word novelette. Read the hot sexy story about a woman who decides who she really loves.

If you haven’t registered on the website you are missing out on the free short stories. Subscribe today!

I really enjoy writing the short stories. I just wish more readers were signed up so they can read them!

I would also like to hear feedback from my readers, especially about which monthly short stories they like best. You might even want to give me an idea of what story theme you’d like to see in the future.

IMPORTANT NOTE:  With summer here and more things to do outside, my next blog may be in September instead of August.

Enjoy your summer!

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