PLEASURING YOURSELF

Welcome to the May 2018 Blog!

Sometimes I think of my sexy, provocative, and deliciously naughty stories as being “left-hand” books. Ones that you hold with your left hand to read while your right hand is touching and pleasuring yourself.

The young woman pictured above looks like she may be experiencing a self-love kind of lovely stimulation and gasping euphoria at the moment herself.

Yes, I’m talking about masturbation. Sexually pleasing yourself. Solo sex. So, is it sin or salvation?

I’ve heard it said that masturbation is what guys do all the time and girls never admit to doing. Some say it is the most pleasurable thing in the universe, and others claim it is part of the reason why there are fewer teenage pregnancies.

There are endless slang terms for the act:  to jerk off, jack off, jerk the gherkin, beat off, beating the meat, choke the chicken, slap the salami, slide the pole, spit-shine the rod, polish the knob, date Miss Palmer, hump my fist, wank off, wax the brass candlestick, rub one out, pud wrestle, spank the monkey, strangle the snake, turn on the sprinklers, and many, many more.

Did you notice those are all male-related terms? But men don’t have all the fun cumming like a fire-hose. Women are the lucky ones who come harder, longer, and more often. There are numerous slang terms for female masturbation too.

Examples are:  fingerbating, jilling off, polishing the pearl, mixing the soup, buttering the biscuit, brushing the beaver, applying lip gloss, tripping the switch, saucing the taco, gilding the lily, finger painting, flicking the bean, muffin buffin’, visiting the finger vault, getting lost in the deep end, petting the bunny, pet my kitten, and paddling the pink canoe.

The Swedes didn’t have a term for female masturbation so they held an official contest looking for a term to help open up a dialogue  about masturbation and female sexuality. The winner was “klittra” which combines “clitoris” and “glitter” (an apt descriptor of how it makes her feel?) to make a positive and happy word.

There is a taboo about masturbating and an even greater taboo against talking about it. The act is usually considered a secret and private matter so the topic is off limits for discussion. Not here.

According to the University of Michigan, the vast majority of children discover their genitals and the pleasure they can bring by age six. They are usually taught not to touch their private parts “down there,” and, to scare them, some were told it was a sin or even the myth that masturbation would make them blind – utter nonsense of course.

It is usually around puberty when the libido spikes and we naturally begin to explore our bodies. Most often it is tween boys and girls who are  10 to 12 when they begin to masturbate. However, they won’t achieve a true orgasm until they reach puberty.

Most parents find it super-awkward when adolescents start masturbating, but not only is it normal, it is healthy. They should be taught to be respectful and only do it in private. To use only their fingers and hands, and to wash afterward. The bottom line is our children’s masturbation should affect our lives about as much as our masturbation affects theirs – not at all.

It is for everyone regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, or religion. Anyone can do it and these things don’t matter.  You can be a shy introverted virgin or an experienced lover. It can be done as often as you desire, solo or with a partner.

It is our deliciously wicked little secret that is tremendously exciting and arousing, so it is no wonder the erotic activity is so popular.

How you touch yourself is private. It usually begins by lying in bed and arousing yourself while caressing your erogenous zones; breasts and nipples, vulva or penis and scrotum. The fun parts of our body that create a safe and amazing  sensation very similar to sex.

It feels marvelous, and afterwards you may feel light and happy. All the tension drains out of your body and you feel relaxed and sated as you experience a wonderful sense of euphoria. Some say masturbation is as good or even better than intercourse.

Pleasuring ourselves is often done accompanied with some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in arousal and reaching climax. Using erotica such as a sexy, erotic photo, magazine, or video, or whatever it takes to get you good and wet if you are a female, or super hard if you are a male.

Maybe what turns you on is the Fifty Shades series of books following the salacious sexual journey of Christian Gray and Anastasia Steele, or my own titillating stories are also great inspiration. Possibly what works best is to simply use your own steamy hot memories or fertile imagination.

Masturbation is simple and easy to do. The method can vary but usually is just to use our hands and fingers, and especially females might enlist the aid of a device such as a dildo or vibrator-or something more inventive-for more intense stimulation. We happily masturbate for the delicious arousal and pleasure and that eventual goal of a scintillating and satisfying surge of release.

We can do it any time of the day or night. It can be quick and dirty for a fast orgasm, or the journey to the ultimate climax can be prolonged so the effervescent pleasure lasts and lasts. It can be once or, especially for females, multiple times. You don’t even need to be naked, it can also be done either clothed or semi-clothed.

Most often it is probably accomplished while lying in bed, but it can also be while standing, sitting in a chair or on the sofa, in the shower or bathtub, or it can be done almost anywhere. The possibilities are only limited by our imaginations.

Many women masturbate but they haven’t beaten the men when it comes to solo sex frequency…at least not yet. This gender gap might be explained because women have often been considered “good girls” when they adhere to the traditional sex role: to be sexually passive, naïve, and dependent – basically, to be nonsexual. Sexually experienced and independent women are frequently seen by some more conservative individuals as threatening and “loose.”

Some women have even been taught their genitals are repulsive and “dirty.” They are encouraged to repress their sexual feelings until marriage when sex is for the purpose of procreation (never their pleasure) and pleasing their husband. A woman learns she is supposed to received sexual pleasure only from sexual intercourse (not from touching or oral sex, and especially not from masturbation) with her husband (not with anyone else or by herself).

Likewise, if a woman is without a partner, masturbating is seen as a desperate act of loneliness, not an indicator of a woman’s natural sexuality.

All foolish and absurd of course, and it doesn’t have to be that way.

Masturbation is a healthy and natural part of sexuality. It enables people to learn about their own bodies and genitals as well as to recognize and develop their sexual responses or orgasms.

It also helps to foster communication in intimate relationships by making it easier for partners to identify and express what feels good physically and sexually for them and to each other.

Candid discussions about sexuality and sexual pleasure can help free women (and men) from the historically negative influences that have bound and prevented some individuals from discovering, exploring, and enjoying their sexual selves.

These conversions can make it easier to break the taboos and myths about masturbation and can encourage women and men to reach their healthy, sex-positive goals. And to have fun doing it.

Old studies, like the one by The Kinsey Institute on white American adults in 1948 and 1953, reported 92% of men and 62% of women admitted to masturbating. A 1994 study about masturbatory practices of men and women between ages 18 and 59 found that 41.7% of women and 63.3% of men had masturbated during the year studied.

In another large nationwide study of adults ages 18 to 60 conducted between 1983 and 1992, 10% of women reported masturbating frequently (several times daily or weekly) vs. 25% of men. Similarly, 38% of women reported masturbating on a regular basis (daily to monthly) in comparison to 55% of men.

An old joke observes that 98% of people masturbate – and the other 2% are lying. The numbers and frequency may be slightly lower now than previously believed. A newer study in 2007 by University of Chicago sociologists on a representative sample of American adults, reports only 38% of women said they’d masturbated during the past year compared to just 61% for men.

Interviewers asked 3,116 adults from age 18 to 60, “On average, over the past 12 months, how often did you masturbate?” It is possible that the face-to-face format suppressed the response numbers. However, even allowing for this possibility, it seems that masturbation may not be quite as prevalent as reported in the past.

Other findings:

Men are most likely to masturbate from their teens into middle age, but the rate fell somewhat after age 50. However, on the whole, men who masturbate continue to do so into later life.

Apparently it takes women some time to warm up to masturbation. Women aged 20 to 39 were the most likely to masturbate, with lower rates among women 18 to 20 and those over 40.

Masturbation becomes more likely for individuals of both sexes who have increased education, greater frequency of sexual thoughts, sexual experimentation before puberty, or a larger number of lifetime sexual relationships.

Poor health reduces masturbation frequency for women, but not for men – they do it regardless of their health.

Compared with people raised in families that are religiously liberal or non-observant, those raised in more conservative families reported less masturbation. It seems being more religious is an impediment to sexual freedom.

Masturbation has traditionally been regarded as a convenient sexual outlet for people who lack a lover, and that held true for both men and women.

White people are the most enthusiastic masturbators. Other ethnic groups reported less.

In American culture masturbation is often viewed as a sexual refuge for singles as a way to compensate for a lack of a sex in a relationship. In this survey that turned out not to be the case. In both genders a sexless relationship suppressed masturbation. Respondents who masturbated the most were usually involved in a sexual relationship. Having partner sex, it appears, piques interest in solo sex.

Finally, sex involves both physical and emotional closeness. In this study, any disconnect between these two elements was associated with increased masturbation. In fact, for women, one of the best predictors of masturbation was a relationship that lacked emotional intimacy.

Unfortunately, like most sex surveys, this one did not include those too young to be considered adults – some of whom we know have already indulged for years by age 18.  Nor did it include people over age 60 despite growing research that most of those over that age remain sexual.

Take from the above what you will…and do whatever you are comfortable doing.  I consider masturbation wonderfully good and satisfying so you can expect to see some of it in my sexy romance novels and short stories.

Above all remember touching yourself requires no permission or approval from anyone – not family or even your partner or spouse. You alone are in charge of your body.

Happy…doing!

ABOUT THE WRITING

NOVEL

I am excited and satisfied to report that I have completed my fourteenth novel! Mr. Right Seeks Miss Wrong is a 72,838 word book of 155 typed pages. The cover of the new manuscript is pictured above.

The story is a sexy romance about Chicago Police Commander Eric Wright who is sick and tired of being mistaken for, and teased about being, the mythical Mr. Right every woman seems to want. His jest to one of his buddies about needing a Miss Wrong to be his perfect match backfires when an unknown and very private woman appears and complications ensue.

SHORT STORIES

I have also been very active writing additional FREE sexy short stories (or longer) that I post on my website, blaineallenauthor.com, for anyone who has registered. I now have a total of 30 free stories available to read on the website!

I have a dozen or more promising short stories in progress, but ultimately I want to return and finish novel Baby Daddy. I have a ton of notes for it, and the book is started, but I still have the majority of the project left to complete.

I’ve mentioned before how I log each new story title and plot idea, along with the accompanying primary character names and multiple pages of notes, that I conjure up in my cluttered mind. The total is now up to 257 titles recorded – all possible writing projects!

I also have 117 of both my completed works and some of the more promising of that multitude of possible projects on the computer, with file folders created for each title and with word documents inside the folder for the text and maybe another one for notes.

FREE BOOK DRAWINGS

Over the past several months there have been five drawings from new subscribers on my website for free signed copies of my published book, One Night and One Day. The latest winner who was sent a book was A.L., in East Moline IL.

Please encourage any romance readers you know to check out the above website. Thank you!